Run
by Purplesuberu
Summary: Lucky reflects on his life, and his childhood, when problems start developing between him and Elizabeth.  Set in 2006.  Short.  Complete.


He had an uncontrollable urge to run.

It wasn't that late - the bus depot and the train station would still be selling tickets. He could be out of Port Charles by morning.

He shoved his hands deeper in his pockets as he continued to walk. He knew that had been another part of his life, a part that was done and over with. The piece of himself that had to study men on the street, look behind him every time he left the house…that could have been another lifetime, happening to anybody else. But the urge still overtook him. He needed out.

He had never run because he was scared. He had run out of necessity, out of the insatiable desire to stay alive. And now that his world was falling into pieces around him, he craved that. He wanted to focus on that rush, letting the adrenaline fuel him. Anything but the pain he was experiencing now. He would have given anything to make that disappear.

But he knew it was only a fantasy. He wasn't a child anymore. He had a child of his own to worry about now…even if he no longer had a wife to go home to.

Elizabeth had always been his safe place. The place where all of the harsh reality of the world could melt away. She had made him happy, genuinely happy. Naively enough, he had imagined that he had done the same.

Last year, he had known that he was never going to be good enough for her. She deserved more than he would ever be able to provide her with. But he had ignored that voice inside of him, finding himself overcome with the passion and peace that had come from loving her.

He laughed. It was ironic. The very fear he had pushed aside, convinced himself was irrational, was the very thing that would eventually come between them and drive them apart. A love that he had convinced himself was lifelong and eternal had shattered at his feet.

He blamed his mother. She had read him all the fairy tales, drilled into his head these ideas of eternal happiness. He knew now that, long past due, the time for fantasy had passed. Now he was faced with harsh reality, and he found himself completely unprepared to deal with it.

He had been wandering around absent mindedly, and now he found himself at the docks. He took a few steps down onto the pier, distracted by the water. He wondered, for a moment, what it would be like to be submersed in it, to see the moonlight shimmer from the other side, another world.

And then he saw something even more gorgeous.

She was still in her scrubs, and at the sound of his stilled movements, she turned. Looking at her, looking into her, he realized that her tears mirrored his own, her pain reflected in his face.

'Pain that you caused her.'

He turned to leave, freezing his movements when she called his name.

He turned, hesitantly seating himself on the same bench. He kept his distance, and it would have been difficult for them to reach out and touch each other.

"I can't do this anymore." Her voice was a whimper, and he wondered how long she'd been out here, how many tears she had cried since he had stormed out of the hospital.

"It's not the same. There's this huge wall between us, and I don't know how it got there, or how to even start tearing it down."

He shifted closer to her, wiping away the tears that surrounded her eyes before moving backwards again, keeping his distance.

Still, no distance could keep his voice steady.

"Are you going to ask me for a divorce?"

After a short silence, he moved to leave, not sure he was ready to hear her answer. She grabbed his wrist, pulling him back and silently convincing him to stay.

"What do you want, Lucky?"

"I want you. You've changed, Elizabeth. I don't even know who you are anymore, and I can't say that I like these changes I see in you. The beautiful, honest, strong woman I fell in love with…she's gone. I would give anything to have her back."

"We've both made mistakes."

He nodded, "Big ones. And if we can't trust each other, then what do we really have?"

"Each other. At least, we could." She reached out to touch him, hesitantly. He had been so different the last few weeks, but right here, right now, he was just her Lucky. The man that she had loved and admired since she was a teenager. In this moment, he was calming, peaceful, beautiful.

"I want that. I want that so much."

"I've missed you, Elizabeth."

She smiled at him, her heart lighter. Lucky took her hand, gently leading her away from the bench.

"Let's go home."

Lucky knew that tonight had only been the beginning, that the mutual understanding would only take them so far. But for tonight, he was okay with that as he walked home, hand in hand with his wife. Finally.

_Have heart my dear  
We're bound to be afraid  
Even if it's just for a few days  
Making up for all this mess…_


End file.
